The Three Rules of the Ocean Blade - January 29, 2015

- Pregame talking: Jim's bad handwriting and the Thingamajig

- T asks S what the thing in the Emberwood is. The thing that goes with the Hand.
- The Mouth is in the Emberwood  S reminds T that the Mouth is the thing that bring information to the bearer and may even portend the future
- T clearly forgot all of this so S also reminds her that the fourth of the creepy, dismembered body-part artifacts is the Arm, a relic of great destructive powers, which is hidden on the largest island of the central finger of the Grasping Claw Cape
- T nods in that way the means she really did forget everything
- F reminds T that the girls are headed towards Lionshead Island to get the Heart which is supposed to have some sort of power over life and death

- The group finally bids adieu to the Groundswallows and heads to the docks
- Captain Callahan greats them and asks for their fee, so they give him 30GP now and tell him that he'll get the other 30GP on their safe arrival to the island
- The rules of the Ocean Blade:
      1. As this is a pirate ship yeh must talk like a pirate.
      2. In bad weather, stay in yer cabin and out from underfoot
      3. Stay outta the hold as carrrgo may shift durin' transport
- T begs not to attack people. Captain C assures her that she doesn't have to attack anyone she doesn't want to. F is perfectly willing to attack people as long as she gets share of the loot.
- The pirate are going to share their booty. Tee hee hee.
- The girls stow their things in the passenger cabin, which has four hammocks. F takes on of the two top hammocks, and the backpacks are safely tied in the other top hammock.
- FST begin exploring the ship, F tries to sneak into the hold to see what's down there (5 minutes in and already breaking the rules, SMH)
- F gets caught immediately (Crit Fail), says she was looking for the bathroom - she gets walked to the privy, which is a tiny room with a bench with a hold in it and a bucket under the bench
- T distracts the Captain who comes to see what the commotion is by going on about how she's a cleric, not a pirate, and talking like a pirate hurts her throat and can they please not attack anyone because she can't bear to see anyone get hurt and it's not worth it for stuff and she doesn't want Stuff!
- F wants Stuff, especially if its gold stuff.
- S goes back to the cabin to read while lounging in her hammock
- F skulks around
- T sulks against the railing a while then goes around Mending things (The Ocean Blade has never looked better!)
- In the evening, Captain C invites the girls to sitting with him at the Captain's Table along with the first mate, Jackson
- Roast pork and potatoes in a sort of gravy for dinner
- Jeremiah cannot talk like a Scottish, Sean Connery pirate. We know because he tried and failed.
- S asks how long until we get to Lionshead Island - "If the wind is with us and we don't stop to make any booty calls, we should be there in five or six days."
- No entertainment tonight as its the first night, but most nights there's singing and sometimes some of the men dress up and put on a cabaret.
- S tries to bribe and sweet talk a random pirate to show her what's in the hold on her way back to the cabin from the mess. She is very unsuccessful.
- Meanwhile back in the mess, pirate are very sloppy drunks. T starts walking up and down the table leading the pirate shanties. Loudly. Out of key. No one really notices since no one two pirate are singing in the same key either.
- F finds the drunkest pirate and gives him another stein of ale. Then she inexpertly flirts with him until he says, "There's mostly tea in the hold right now, but it's not worth half so much as the littl'uns." Slurp. Glug. Pass out.
- Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!
- F then attempts to pretend to seduce a pirate, thinking that may there is a door into the hold from the crew's quarters, but as there's connection between the two, so she leave the pirate on the pretense of getting more ale, and then sneaks through the mess without any of the carousing pirates (or cleric) noticing her.
- T eventually gives up singing and goes to the cabin and is surprised to see F there. They are agree that now that they know this is a pirate ship, they are determined to see what is in the hold. Especially, after F tells what she heard from the drunkest of the drunks.
- There is a brainstorming session to figure out how this might be done. S suggests either using her spells Disguise Self to look like one of the pirates and going into the hold that way or perhaps causing some chaos with an Unseen Servant.
- FST decide to go with the Unseen Servant for now and keep the other spell in their back pocket once they see what's really down there.
- More brainstorming about what the US will do to the pirates. They decide that it should go around stealing all the pirates' left shoes and then throw them into the cargo hold.
- S, "Tomorrow all the left shoes will be vanquished!"

- S puts the left shoe plan into action the next morning after she's tranced and prepared her spells for the day.
- The girls go to breakfast and on the way witness a pirate get dragged by his left boots and thrown into the hold. The girls suddenly realize how difficult the next hour is going to be as they cannot laugh at the hi-jinx that are about to ensue or they will give themselves away.
- At breakfast various pirates are accosted and their shoes stolen, if they can get them off in time, or, if they can't, they are dragged up the stairs out of the mess and thrown into the carrrgo hold.
- T declares that this sort of thing looks like the work of Nuitari, the god of evil magic, and that perhaps if they pray to Solinari, the goddess of good magic and the arch-enemy of Nuitari, the curse will be broken
- For the next fifteen minutes T leads the pirates in pray while she prays to Mishakal in their name to remove the bad magic affecting the sailors of this ship.
- The US finally steals the captain's left boot and the praying gets very vigorous indeed, and the spell animating the US ends, and the captain's boot drops with a thud on the stairs. His sock is in very bad disrepair.
- T tells him to sit down and Mends his sock. He is very impressed and asks her to do the other one too. She complies nicely and tells him that "That's the power of good magic."
- The pirates are very nervous for the next few hours.
- The girls go back to their cabin and brainstorm again.
- The next morning S gives the US servant the following set of commands:
      - If someone opens the hold's hatch, slam it closed.
      - If someone closes the hold's hatch, open it.
      - If no one is interacting with the hatch, open it or slam it closed every five minutes.
- It does not take long before there's a crowd watching the pirate Davies trying very unsuccessfully to close the hatch that leads into the hold. He closes it and latches it shut only to have the latch undo itself and fly opening again.
- Captain C comes over to see what the commotion is this time, and after trying himself to close the hatch, tells everyone to get back to work and sets one of the pirates to guard the hatch. He goes off muttering about what he could have done to anger Zeboim.
- That pirates watches bemusedly and then very boredly as the hatch opens and closes itself.
- S keeps the US servant going all morning and into the afternoon. She and T finally move in and distract the pirate guard with a game of throwing daggers while F sneaks into the hold while the hatch is conveniently open.
- At the very back of the hold there are five cages and two at the sides. There are two little people in each cage. One asks in a very quiet voice who F is. She talks to them and discovers that they are halflings from Koswattagoda. Other than being in cages the halflings are tolerably well fed and not being treated too badly.
- F successfully sneaks back out when the hatch is opened again and disappears into the cabin for a few minutes before coming "to see what her companions are up to" - S has soundly defeated the pirate who was bad enough to have lost his best dagger over the side.
- S gestures at T to pretend to do magic. T does, "invoking" Mishakal's aid, and S performs a small spell to retrieve the dagger, which flies into T hand only a little wet. She hands it back to the pirate.
- T finally walks over and banishes the "evil spirit" so that S can stop spending 10 minutes out of every hours renewing the spell.
- The next morning S creates 3 Unseen Servants and has them steal the pirates' food every time one of them starts to take a bite and bring the food to the halflings in the hold.
- There is much pandemonium.
- The next afternoon the captain gives to order to make for Port Carling to drop off the carrrgo, S and T give him 50GP not to stop in port because they don't yet have a plan to save the halflings.

- 1000 XP ea. 8560 XP total ea.

Hobgoblins and Ogres on the Bridge, Oh My! - January 15, 2016

- It's been two months!

- FST stay with the Groundswallow Traveling Tinkers and Traders for a few days
- During that time the girls manage to find a captain who has agreed to take them directly to Lionshead Island - He seems shady / cagey and his boat is a bit run down
- There is a large commotion by the bridge over the river - the girls head that direction, but it's hard to get through the crowds of people fleeing and it takes them nearly twenty minutes before they can see what is going on.
- There are two large creatures - 10' tall humanoid-type creatures that are extremely beefy - surrounded by dead or injured people / guards, one of whom is snacking on a corpse
- F also notices some hobgoblins hanging around the bigger creatures
- Thessalie yells "You leave him alone!" and runs toward the thing

Round 1 - Fight!

- T casts Spiritual Weapon next to Big Thing1 for 9 force dmg then casts Bless on herself and her friends
- S casts Slow on BT1, BT2, HobGoblin1, and HG2 - only HG1 is affected
- BT1 charges T and slams his club into her for 13 bludgeoning dmg
- BT2 charges S for 19 bludgeoning dmg
- HG4 shoots and misses F with a long bow
- F moves to flank BT2 with S and slashes him for 18 dmg
- HG1 moves a couple of feet and shoots @ F and misses
- HG2 shoots @ F and misses
- HG3 shoots @ T and hits her for 6 piercing dmg
(Round 2)
- T attacks H1 with SW for 9 force dmg killing it then she casts Spirit Guardians on herself
- S casts Burning Hands on BT2 for 13 fire dmg
- BT1 takes 14 radiant dmg then misses T with his club
- BT2 takes 4 radiant dmg then smashes S for 13 bludgeoning dmg
- HG4 misses F with long bow
- F slashes BT2 for 17 dmg then moves to flank BT1 with T instead
- HG2 misses F with longbow
- HG3 shoots T for 2 piercing dmg
(Round 3)
- T hits HG2 for 7 force dmg then casts Guiding Bolt on BT1 for 15 radiant dmg
- S casts Magic Missile on BT2 for 9 force dmg
- BT1 misses T with club
- BT2 misses S with club
- HG4 shoots S for 6 piercing dmg - NOT DEAD YET
- F slashes BT1 for 16 dmg
- HG3 moves to flank T and slashes her with a longsword for 7 dmg
- HG2 misses F with longbow
(Round 4)
- T kills HG2 with SW then casts Guiding Bolt on BT1 for 13 radiant dmg
- S casts Scorching Ray on BT2 and kills it!
- BT1 misses T with his club
- HG4 shoots S for 7 piercing dmg
- F misses BT1 with her longsword
- HG3 slashes T for 10 dmg then SG kill it
(Round 5)
-T hits HG4 for 6 force dmg with SW then casts Spirit Guardians correctly this time
- BT1 - the SG kill it
- HG4 runs for the bridge
- F shoots HG4 for 5 piercing dmg then runs to his face
- HG3 misses T with longsword
(Round 6)
- T heals S for 11 HP
- S casts Fire Bolt on HG4 for 3 dmg killing it

SUCCESS!

- T runs around and stabilizes anybody who looks like they might be alive
- S examines the Big Things and tells F that they are ogres. Also, it's somewhat unusual for an ogre to attack in an urban area and as well as with another if its kind. They tend to be loners out in the wilderness.
- F and S search the hobgoblins - they find a total of 12GP, 6SP, and 42CP
- Once people finally start showing up, T breathlessly directs any healers to the people she managed to stabilize then she casts Prayer of Healing on herself, F, S and 4 of the downed citizens

- Fried corkscrew penis on YouTube - Duck?

- 1060XP ea. - 7560 XP total ea.

Traveling Tinkers and a Thief - November 13, 2016

- Traveling Tinklers...

- Thessalie gets buried in a group hug - lots of family history - older sister Cora settled near Arrondale - Eldon set off to the Emberwood with a possible treasure map
- Counsel has closed the roads to Rhoanor - guards at the bridges over the Sapphire and other roads
- T heads to the temple while F & S hang out in the marketplace
- F asks an elven merchant about Rhoanor - Jeff the iron merchant might know something (Stupid phone - Not a EWER merchant)

- Jeff hits on F pretty hard
- Might be a plague, but he didn't see any sick people - might be an invasion, but they are not a particularly war-like people - Can't be sure really

- Snack break!

- T reports All the Things to Alethra - All. The. Things. - Alethra can't help much but she blesses T's quest
- T returns and they sup - much chatting - Welby asks if F stabbed anybody
- The next day at lunch F catches a teenage kid with his hand in S's pack - They chase him into a dead end alley where there are a couple of other thugs already waiting and a couple who fall in behind trapping them in an ambush

-Battle!
- F shoots the boy who stole from S, but misses
- T casts her Spiritual Weapon on the balcony and hits W1 for 7 force dmg then she Casts Spirit Guardians
- S casts Slow and catches B1, W1, & W2 off their guards
- W2 shoots S with his bow and misses
- B3 (thief) turns and slashes @F with his scimitar twice missing took times then he finally manages to stab her with his dagger for 6 piercing dmg
- B2 slashes S for 4 dmg with scimitar (no Concentration break) then misses with both his other attacks (14 radiant dmg from Spirit Guardians)
- W1 hits S with his bow for 1 piercing dmg
- F Disengages and Moves then shes hits him but GOOD (critical hit!) for 34 slashing dmg
- T - Sw hits Wl for 4 force dmg - then she moves next to S and casts Warding Bond on her
- S casts Shocking Grasp on B2 for 6 lightning dmg
- W2 shoots S for 4 piercing dmg (con lost)
- B3 moves to flank s and deals 3 slashing dmg then 4 slashing dmg then 2 piercing with his dagger
- B2 misses then gets s for 2 slashing dmg then misseswith dagger
- Bl hits T for 8 slashing drug then 5 slashing dmg then 6 piercing dmg
- W1 hits F for 1 piercing dmg
- F slashes B2 for 14 dmg and kills him
- T hits Wl with Sw for 5 force dmg and use Cure Wounds on S for 14 HP
- S catches W2 with Slow again
- W2 hits F for 9 piercing dmg
- B3 moves and F uses the opportunity to slash him for 17 dmg -moves to flank T - miss - 7 slashing dmg -7 piercing
- Bl - 5 slashing to T - 10 slashing - miss with dagger
- WI shoots F for 9 piercing
- F moves to flank B3 and slashes him for 20
- T Disengages from flanking and runs dway while having SW hit Wl for 4 force
- S moves towards the wall and casts Burning Hands - 13 fire to Bl and B2
- W2 shoots at S but misses
- B3 misses F
- Bl moves to F and slashes her for 9 then again for 4 then 5 piercing
- Wl shoots S and misses
- F Moves to flank B3 then slashes him to death then Disengages from Bl and runs away
- T misses with Spiritual Weapon then uses Cure Wounds on herself (16 Hp)
- S cast Magic Missile a Bl for 10 force dmg
- LAST TWO ROUNDS lost to F'ING writing thing's issues! But we won

- The thief had taken the book about the Hand, etc. and their scimitars have the eye engraved into their hilts
- T casts Prayer of Healing and they head back to the Groundswallows' wagon